Ever feel like just saying stuff it...
You can't be bothered with all the hassle of being a woman anymore...
You just want to be!
Feel free from all the ideals and stereotypes you put upon yourself due to media and the thought of what others think of you, your partner included. Problem is deep down no matter how you are feeling you want to be feminine, attractive and feel beautiful-sexy in yourself.
Inside of myself I long to be a petite little lady; I however am not.
My father used to call be a "big amazonian woman". Not really what a girl in her early 20's wants to hear.
When I was a child I didn't identify with girly stuff or clothes. I used to admire and want to dress in boys clothes. I thought they were cool, easier, practicable, comfortable looking and more suitable for me.
I was fat. No; I was obese as a child from the age of 7 through to the age of 14(bulimia and then anorexia took over). Since then my weight has gone up and down (I'm roughly 11st 12lb now I don't own a set of scales).
I have to put in a lot of effort and thought into not bashing myself. It is a daily, sometimes hourly struggle.
I have two daughters.. I can not afford to bash myself as they will take on board my baggage; that is not what I want. So I do walk about naked after getting a bath, getting dried and dressed. Inside I am cringing but I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone for the sake of my daughters. My eldest loves my "soft, squishy tummy" she will lay her head against it and make little sounds of contentment. Holy crap; inside I initially felt so very, very uncomfortable. I am over that now. I love that she loves my "soft, squishy tummy".
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