Hey.
I am sick to the back teeth of advertising and media.
Insidious; brainwashing tripe.
The saddest thing is that so many are suckered into it all; the latest phone, tablet, trainers, watch, body, hand bag, clothes, cars.
I am a guilty victim. Maybe the worst type, since I know yet fall for it.
I fall for the body shame. Feeling severely dissatisfied with my body. I've had eating disorders and I have a distorted body image which I keep internally most of the time with occasional verbal self-bashing dribble which I pour out to my husband (which is not a good thing but that is for a different time).
Everyone is dreaming and wishing after false bodies. Nothing in the media is real yet we are so immersed in it everyday (unless you run off to live in the wilds), everywhere. What is this doing to the developing minds of our children if it s having this effect on us "fully developed" adults, turning us all into unthinking morons; slaves to the media.
Truth
Joy
Love.
Remember to think for yourself; always question what you read and see.
Live mindfully.
Sunday, 21 June 2015
Thursday, 18 June 2015
Feeling Strange.....Changes.
Hello
It has been an emotional few weeks on the Undomesticated Goddess front.
I am changing emotionally, mentally and physically. It's all feeling very strange.
I'll be 32 this August, over half of my life I have suffered from depression (diagnosed, treated and medicated) I work with it, I find ways to cope with it day to day which is a struggle but I do it. I can't allow myself to take to my bed and stay there; as much as I yearn to at times, I have children and I could not do that to them.
There are times when trying your hardest just doesn't feel like enough.
I'm frustrated with me.
My husband is frustrated with me; I drive rather than walk the kids to school. Our children are not overweight but he thinks they should be walking more. Also he said I am going to end up being a "soda" (Belfast speak for fat and floppy) because I'm not active enough!!
I long to be active and I am well aware that being physically active is an excellent natural treatment for depression.
Any of you who suffer from depression, anxiety or other mental illnesses will know the struggle and stress of managing to get the basics completed from day to day; getting washed, dressed, kids sorted, going to work/college/university, making dinners etc. Add on top of that the pressure of wanting to fit in a walk or an other type of non-essential exercise feels very overwhelming. It is there grating on your subconscious constantly "I haven't done it........I want to,,,,I need to...I should".
I feel awesome after exercise, I love a good long walk though everyday life takes over and I feel swamped by the daily basics.
Peace out.
Remember to try and live mindfully.
Think for yourself and take time in this busy world.
It has been an emotional few weeks on the Undomesticated Goddess front.
I am changing emotionally, mentally and physically. It's all feeling very strange.
I'll be 32 this August, over half of my life I have suffered from depression (diagnosed, treated and medicated) I work with it, I find ways to cope with it day to day which is a struggle but I do it. I can't allow myself to take to my bed and stay there; as much as I yearn to at times, I have children and I could not do that to them.
There are times when trying your hardest just doesn't feel like enough.
I'm frustrated with me.
My husband is frustrated with me; I drive rather than walk the kids to school. Our children are not overweight but he thinks they should be walking more. Also he said I am going to end up being a "soda" (Belfast speak for fat and floppy) because I'm not active enough!!
I long to be active and I am well aware that being physically active is an excellent natural treatment for depression.
Any of you who suffer from depression, anxiety or other mental illnesses will know the struggle and stress of managing to get the basics completed from day to day; getting washed, dressed, kids sorted, going to work/college/university, making dinners etc. Add on top of that the pressure of wanting to fit in a walk or an other type of non-essential exercise feels very overwhelming. It is there grating on your subconscious constantly "I haven't done it........I want to,,,,I need to...I should".
I feel awesome after exercise, I love a good long walk though everyday life takes over and I feel swamped by the daily basics.
Peace out.
Remember to try and live mindfully.
Think for yourself and take time in this busy world.
Wednesday, 3 June 2015
Mother
My mother disliked her body very much,
I knew it from a young age.
Little me though it was her fault,
"Look what I done to her tummy!"
Mother is God in the eyes of a child.
This is so true.
Mothers wisely choose you words,
Yes, and fathers too.
Little ears are listening, little minds look up to you.
Stuff it! Fashion and such!
Ever feel like just saying stuff it...
You can't be bothered with all the hassle of being a woman anymore...
You just want to be!
Feel free from all the ideals and stereotypes you put upon yourself due to media and the thought of what others think of you, your partner included. Problem is deep down no matter how you are feeling you want to be feminine, attractive and feel beautiful-sexy in yourself.
Inside of myself I long to be a petite little lady; I however am not.
My father used to call be a "big amazonian woman". Not really what a girl in her early 20's wants to hear.
When I was a child I didn't identify with girly stuff or clothes. I used to admire and want to dress in boys clothes. I thought they were cool, easier, practicable, comfortable looking and more suitable for me.
I was fat. No; I was obese as a child from the age of 7 through to the age of 14(bulimia and then anorexia took over). Since then my weight has gone up and down (I'm roughly 11st 12lb now I don't own a set of scales).
I have to put in a lot of effort and thought into not bashing myself. It is a daily, sometimes hourly struggle.
I have two daughters.. I can not afford to bash myself as they will take on board my baggage; that is not what I want. So I do walk about naked after getting a bath, getting dried and dressed. Inside I am cringing but I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone for the sake of my daughters. My eldest loves my "soft, squishy tummy" she will lay her head against it and make little sounds of contentment. Holy crap; inside I initially felt so very, very uncomfortable. I am over that now. I love that she loves my "soft, squishy tummy".
You can't be bothered with all the hassle of being a woman anymore...
You just want to be!
Feel free from all the ideals and stereotypes you put upon yourself due to media and the thought of what others think of you, your partner included. Problem is deep down no matter how you are feeling you want to be feminine, attractive and feel beautiful-sexy in yourself.
Inside of myself I long to be a petite little lady; I however am not.
My father used to call be a "big amazonian woman". Not really what a girl in her early 20's wants to hear.
When I was a child I didn't identify with girly stuff or clothes. I used to admire and want to dress in boys clothes. I thought they were cool, easier, practicable, comfortable looking and more suitable for me.
I was fat. No; I was obese as a child from the age of 7 through to the age of 14(bulimia and then anorexia took over). Since then my weight has gone up and down (I'm roughly 11st 12lb now I don't own a set of scales).
I have to put in a lot of effort and thought into not bashing myself. It is a daily, sometimes hourly struggle.
I have two daughters.. I can not afford to bash myself as they will take on board my baggage; that is not what I want. So I do walk about naked after getting a bath, getting dried and dressed. Inside I am cringing but I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone for the sake of my daughters. My eldest loves my "soft, squishy tummy" she will lay her head against it and make little sounds of contentment. Holy crap; inside I initially felt so very, very uncomfortable. I am over that now. I love that she loves my "soft, squishy tummy".
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